Faculty Shots

Drinking with faculty is always good for a few laughs. Especially when they tell you that if they were to do it over again they would think long and hard before deciding to stay in academia. This is great news for those of us on the job market.

Anyway, no time to chat but I did want to make a note of a little more progress: I ordered my regalia for graduation. ($100!)

Dissertating and Graduating

I went to a school sponsored seminar the other day for students planning to graduate this semester. The administrative assistant (AA) who ran the session taught us a lot about a ton of things including: 1. The vast amounts of paperwork she has to do so that we can get the privilege of graduating this great institution; 2. How much work all of it is (for her); 3. She is on our side!; 3. Each of the requirements (a 15 step plan!) were made by "higher ups" (not her); 4. If we slip up on a single of the 15 steps, we will not be able to graduate; and in contrast to 4 above: 5. If we are her friend (implied: and bring her little gifts) she may make exceptions to 4 above.

We were even given a handy cheat sheet: "Doctoral Students- Final Steps to Graduation." Helpfully laid out in this handout were the 15 different and discrete steps to be undertaken in the coming 2 months. Naturally each step included about 3-4 sub steps, many of which required their own separate administrative fees as well as the contact information for the friendly administrative staff responsible for each, spanning men and women in multiple offices in multiple buildings in multiple states (!) who were all "on our side.". The AA went over each step carefully, emphasizing the finer points of each,including the year in which each step was added to the list of requirements and how it was prior to the adoption of that requirement and which dean or faculty committee requested each step and why (as far as she can tell because "Lord knows I just do what they tell me.")

My favorite, naturally, was Step 6, sandwiched in between completion of step 5 (forms) and step 6 (more forms): Write your Dissertation and have it approved by your academic advisory committee.

Lord knows I just do what they tell me. Though if I find time for Step 6 in between all the legwork that steps 1-5 and 7-15 will take, I will consider myself lucky, indeed.

This ABD reflects on yet another graduation season

So yet another graduation season has come and gone. Yet more pomp and ceremony and "Dr." calling that has passed me by…

Last Friday was the commencement ceremony. Two of my friends graduated, one of which started the program at the same time I did. With each passing year, watching friends and acquaintances and strangers and total jerks graduate while I am still slumming ABD, my feelings about the ceremony and the whole PhD process seem to change. The ceremony itself seems to grow more and more like a meaningless show full of bogus pomp and circumstance marking the end of the long, frustrating, and bureaucratic freakshow we call grad school and yet at the same time, it strikes me as more meaningful, touching, and impressive. (I mean, those hoods and sash-y things!)

Friday night one of my graduating friends had a huge party, with margaritas and an entire mariachi band. It was fun but I kept wanting it to be my party. My party, damnit! This sucks. So, to prepare for my future party, I spent (at least) 10 minutes hunting down next fall’s academic calendar to look up the dissertation deadlines. I even wrote them on my calendar:

First dissertation deadline: October 12, 2007
Final dissertation deadline: November 9, 2007

These were the only deadlines available at this time. Needless to say 25 more bureaucratic, administrative, and dissertation formatting deadlines will crop up between now and then.