People, You Need to Get Out

Get out of the house. And yes, it's ok to go outside after dark. Get out of your neighborhood. Get out of your state or your country. Get out of Applebee's and never go back. No, "methadone" is not for "methamphetamine." You don't know what a chickpea is? You never met a gay person? You never smoked a joint? Seriously? No, tacos shouldn't come in a hard shell. No, you can't catch it by talking to someone. Get out of Branson. You've never hitchhiked or cut class or eaten a gyro? (Ok, well, I've never eaten a gyro but that's different.)

I grow weary of the Midwest.