The Big Time of Peer Review

So I was recently asked to be a peer reviewer for Big Time Disciplinary Journal. This is pretty exciting since it's the first time I have ever been asked to review something for publication. And because it's a fancy pantsy journal.

At first I was confused because I have never published in this journal. I immediately thought it was a mistake. Then, I figured that maybe someone I know requested me as a reviewer. But I don't think that anybody I know wrote this. And it's not in a field where my name would automatically come to mind as a content expert. Don't get me wrong, there are some fields in which I can be considered an expert. For instance, if someone wanted to know the Best Happy Hour Spots in Houston, they might know to call me up. Anywho, it finally occurred to me that I have submitted articles to this journal in the past that were rejected. And I mean REJECTED!--as in, never even made it past some kind of automaton-a-la-Jetsons-computerized-sorting-system to get to the hands of a reviewer or human being. Anyway, as a consequence, I have an online profile which matches up almost word for word with the keywords of the article they asked me to review. So the digital-peer-reviewer-sorter-system-de-jour must have found me through my profile.

Unfortunately, now I am suffering through a I-think-it-should-be-rejected-but-who-am-I-to-say paranoia. As well as its counterpart, the how-much-time-do-I-waste-explaining-the-paper's-faults-and-
clearly-articulating-my-critique conundrum.