Thursday, August 27, 2009

Stressed! God! Cocktails!

I am stressed. But I really don't want to dwell on that right now.

I don't take direction well. Someone tells me what I'm supposed to believe and I get really, really ticked off. Which is why when I read about Anastasia's conversion crisis, I am even more convinced that I will never, ever convert to Catholicism. It's one reason I like Unitarians, even though they too, drive me crazy. (They embrace doubt and the questioning of dogma.) It's also one of the reasons I always wanted to be Jewish, because even if I didn't agree with all of their dogma, I'd still be Jewish by birth. That's something, right?

The reason I'm thinking about this is because I've been praying for a friend in trouble. Actually, to be honest, for more than one friend. And for those of you who never stopped to think about this before, praying is hard when you're somewhat spiritual but you're not affiliated with any religion or were never raised in a tradition in which you have ingrained ways of doing these things. Who and or what do you pray to? How do you do it? You have no guidance. Most days I believe in God but I don't really go in for any one of his prophets more than the others. This causes complications.

Sigh. I could really, really use a beer. No, make that a Manhattan--with Maker's Mark, and not the sleezy kind with maraschino cherry juice or anything. Too bad a drink is not exactly an option for another 5+ months. Well, I have to go to put on a post-doc happy hour. Where I will be drinking water. Sometimes being pregnant sucks.

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