Where are my mittens?
On Loving (Hating) Academia
Dear Admissions Committee,
Mr. Bronze Malheur has asked me to write a letter in support of his application to your graduate program. I am dumbfounded: not only am I astonished that he has asked me to write this letter, but also that he has any intention of going to graduate school or that he believes he could possibly be successful.
He is a groveling toady, a sycophant.
In sum, I can think of no one with a college diploma less qualified for graduate work than Mr. Malheur. I suggest you burn his application materials and return his application fee. If you admit him to your program, you will curse the day you were born.
"What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?"
Wow, I never thought of it like that before.
Support Our Troops! Hang to show your support during the holiday season!
Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement
"All the feminist movement needed to do was bring on someone who had the balls to do something about this glass ceiling business," said McGowan, who quickly closed the 23.5 percent gender wage gap by "making a few calls to the big boys upstairs."
WALTHAM, MA—A courageous young notebook computer committed a fatal, self-inflicted execution error late Sunday night, selflessly giving its own life so that professors, academic advisors, classmates, and even future generations of college students would never have to read Jill Samoskevich's 227-page master's thesis, sources close to the Brandeis University English graduate student reported Monday.